The last thing my daughter wants to do is go to kindergarten in two weeks.
The Big K has been scaring her for months. It got to the point where if she was over tired, having a bad day, or even just having a hard time falling asleep one night and up late, that suddenly everything wrong with the universe was because she had to go to kindergarten, never mind that K-day was months away.
And here we are, two weeks out. She’s still very nervous, but we spent much of the summer helping her manage her fears with some ideas for coping.
First, between weeks at camp, she was able to go some days to preschool/daycare throughout the summer because of the way the preschool’s summer calendar is organized. This helped pull the band-aid off slowly, in terms of saying goodbye. She loved, loved, loves her preschool. I’d say that’s a sign of a great preschool and also the fact that she’s been there since she was 18 months old and does not know any other school or teachers. Her preschool’s graduation ceremony from VPK helped also, even though that was back in May. It helped her know she was a big girl now and ready for kindergarten.
Second, she attended several camps this summer. She had the opportunity to experience new routines, new friends, new teachers or counselors, and new, fun activities. This was also a source of stress for her, my daughter likes nothing more than predictability, but I think it helped her realize that new experiences can be fun and new friends are easy to make, and that there are many adults out there who can take care of her.
Third, I took her to Target and we picked out a journal and a special pen. And every night over the summer we wrote about her feelings. Of course she is only five, and a lot of times what she was feeling was too big or complicated to express with her limited spelling and writing skills, but at those times I asked her to just talk, and I wrote. We wrote each day about something she liked, something she didn’t like, something that she was upset about, and something that she was looking forward to. The journal became a vehicle for conversations between my daughter and me which was hugely helpful in terms of helping to address what she was feeling without her having a meltdown about it.
Fourth, we contacted the school and asked for a play date with other incoming kindergartners. The play date was at the school playground. (Even if your school does not want to organize an event, if you as a parent know some students going to your child’s school, you can always organize this yourself at a nearby park, and have everyone bring their own snacks.) This is a great way to have moms, dads and kids get to know each other before that first big day.
Fifth, we have several books about going to kindergarten that we read often, including the Very Fairy Princess: Graduation Girl, which my daughter’s grandmother sent her for preschool graduation. In the book, Gerry is VERY nervous to go to a new grade, and the book addresses all of her fears with nice pictures and of course, a happy ending. There are many books like this out there, just search Amazon to find one you think your child could relate to.
Finally, we went shopping for her school supplies list, a new pair of sneakers, and a first day of kindergarten outfit, and I made a BIG deal out of it. My daughter may be the only kid in kindergarten in pink and black leopard print sneakers and a long pink dress with leopard print spots on it, but that’s what she picked out and in this case, I’m okay with that. When the first day gets closer I am also going to take her to the grocery store with me and we will pick out food to pack in her lunch and snack together.
I’m still not sure how this first day is going to go. I know it will help her school has an ice cream social the day before kindergarten starts and she can meet her teacher and see her room. I am sure that will help alleviate her fears, especially since I know the root of them is really her fear of everything unknown. I am sure once she meets her teacher, starts her new routine, and breaks in those sneakers, she’s going to be just fine. In fact, I’m pretty sure it’s going to be me who is going to cry when I drop my daughter off for the first day of kindergarten, and not her!
We are in the same boat with our daughter. She starts a week from today and is SO negative about it we have been very concerned. She has always handled new situations well, and makes friends everywhere she goes. So it has been puzzling. We’ve done many of the things over the summer you describe above. I’m nervous about her first day. But I truly believe once she starts, she will be OK.
Good luck to you and your daughter! 🙂