Have you ever looked at a mom who has kids older than your own and thought “I will never do that” or “I will never say that”? I was one of those moms when my baby was too small to move or talk, and I’m here to tell you, my oldest child is only four years old and I have now done or said most of the things that I said I never would. Here are just a few things I thought I would never, ever do as a mom.
I will never let my kid scream like that in public!
Before I had kids, whenever I saw a toddler on the ground kicking and screaming, and the parents were standing there barely looking, I would think, “Why aren’t they doing anything? Their kid is obviously so upset and needs help.” Now I realize the parents were doing something. They were ignoring the child so that it would not continue throwing tantrums. As my daughter’s swim instructor says when I continue giving my child the sippy cup she has thrown down 10 times “Liz, don’t feed the monster.” I should calmly put the cup away so she knows that throwing it is not acceptable, thus not feeding the monster. So next time you see a parent ignoring their out-of-control kid, or taking something away and letting the toddler cry hysterically, just know that you are witnessing a pro-active mother’s finest hour as she teaches her child that a tantrum will get them absolutely nowhere.
I will never use my own saliva to clean my child!
Have you ever licked your thumb to clean lollipop goo from your child’s cheek because you discovered you were out of wipes and you just wanted five minutes of peace on the way to Great Aunt Lillie’s? This is right up there with picking the pacifier up off the ground and saying “it was facing up” and giving it back to your baby, or who knows maybe it was facing down and you stick it in your mouth and consider it clean and return it to the screaming baby. I have also let my kids eat snacks off the ground as long as they weren’t too dirty. Oh, and who hasn’t wiped their kids nose with either your hand, your shirt or your child’s shirt?
I will never yell in public, or better yet I will never yell at my child!
Recently my almost two-year-old refuses to ride in the stroller when we go places like the zoo, Trick or Treating, or anywhere really. But remember, I also have a four-year-old who is very fast and always runs ahead and gets out of my sight. Just today we were at the Alligator Farm and I really didn’t care how loudly I yelled because all I wanted was for my four-year-old to stop, turn around, and come back to me before she got lost. I also yell when they are about to touch toilets, trash cans, or let go of my hand in the parking lot. I yell a lot in parking lots. I have become the mom who I once looked at as loud and obnoxious.
I will never let my kid dress like that!
I really never thought I would let my child wear crazy, mismatched clothes. Fast forward to having two kids and trying to get them both ready in the morning while packing lunches and getting myself dressed. I am so happy when my four-year-old runs in my room and proudly says “Mommy, I dressed myself!” As long as it’s appropriate for the weather, I am usually fine with it. My new philosophy is the crazier it is, the cuter it is. Do we sometimes get strange looks and giggles walking into preschool? Sure, but I bet my morning was a lot easier than theirs, and I have a little girl who wears her clothes with pride because she did it all by herself. I choose to choose my battles more often now.
I will never say that!
I’ve heard parents say the silliest things over the years. I knew once I became a mom I could come up with more original, clever things to say, but I admit I have said it all.
“Because I said so!”
“Because I’m the mommy, that’s why!”
“How many times do I have to tell you ____?” My daughter usually responds “50”.
“I’m counting to three!” (Tell me moms, how long do you pause between two and three because you don’t really know what to do when you get to three?)
“Go ask your dad.”
“Life’s not fair.”
“I’ll give you something to cry about.”
“Get that out of your nose right now!”
“We’ll get there when we get there.”
To summarize, never say never until you have actually been there yourself. Don’t criticize another mom until you have understood and felt what she is going through when she decided to let her child pee in the middle of the beach because she was scared to go in the ocean and there wasn’t a restroom nearby. I still stand firm to the really important rules such as no running with scissors, but there are plenty of things I have had to give in to or change my thinking on. You do need to stick to the things you feel strongly about, but sometimes it’s OK to rethink something or just lighten up about it. Now when I pass a parent with a screaming kid, I think “I know exactly what you are going through and I am not judging you one bit”.
