I remember the day vividly.
As I drove through my new neighborhood right smack in the middle of suburbia with my toddler and infant in the backseat, there they were. Two boys obviously living in those tween years riding their skateboards down the middle of our street. I slowed down smiling that we now lived in a neighborhood where kids played and laughed and made friends as I patiently waited for them to move over to the sidewalk so my minivan could pass.
And then I waited some more.
And some more.
Maybe they have headphones in, I said to myself, and just don’t hear my car rolling slowly behind them. Then it happened. One of the boys turned around, looked me straight in the eyes, and proceeded to ride his skateboard in my way for the remainder of my drive home. He may not have given me the actual finger, but his eyes sure did.
“Did that seriously just happen?” I said to myself.
Fuming when I pulled into my driveway, I unbuckled my beautiful cherubs declaring that they were not allowed to grow into eye-finger-flipping middle schoolers with no regard for those around them. They were required to remain perfect. Never mind my two-year-old daughter had shockingly dropped what sounded like an f-bomb in Target two days earlier, I needed to stay focused on the real issue at hand – Keeping my children young forever because I could never imagine wanting to have one of “those kids” in my home.
Today, I officially have two of “those kids.” It’s crazy to think how long it’s been since that experience and even crazier to think about how focused I’ve been for longer than I care to admit on dreading the Middle School years.
Sure, the eye rolls get bigger, and the mood swings could give anyone whiplash (this isn’t exclusive to girls, by the way), but there are so many things about this age that I’ve come to love.
The Talks – Yes, some of the talks get more difficult to navigate, but they also get more challenging in a good way. I love it when my children ask me about things that challenge them and then begin to form their own opinions about the world. Even better is when they say something that causes me to evaluate my view on certain issues. Of course, they move from profound to hungry in mere seconds, but it’s still fun to live in those fleeting moments.
Personalities Shine (When they aren’t hating the world around them) – I’ll mention the mood swings again here. They are swift and without warning, but on a good day and even on a not so good one, I can see their personalities take shape. The sometimes misplaced but still hilarious humor of my son. The dry, perfectly timed sarcasm of my daughter. Both make me smile even in the inappropriate times. The struggle my son has in understanding the things of this world that are beyond his control show me the glimpses of a man who will care that bad things happen and maybe use that to do something bold about it some day. And the stubborn moments my daughter displays sheds light on the determination she will have to go after what she wants in years to come.
The Fun Moments Are Really Fun – Maybe it’s because they are so unexpected or maybe I just appreciate them more, but I’m never happier than when we are all sitting at dinner or driving down the road in the car laughing hysterically. Sometimes it’s about my son’s slight obsession with Selena Gomez music or my daughter’s inability to expect that her brother will jump out and scare her every single night before bed. It’s just simple fun, and it warms this mother’s heart in much the same way those first smiles and wobbly steps did so many years ago.
I’m not gonna lie and pretend it’s all roses. Some days are the most challenging I’ve ever experienced as a parent, and I often question if I’m getting it right. But, for any mom out there in her car behind some middle school kid giving you the eye-finger, here’s are a few final words. They will grow up, and parts of that will suck, and other parts will be more rewarding than you ever thought. Yes, your son or daughter will do something equally as frustrating causing others to wonder if they were raised by monkeys. All you can do is prepare for the bad, celebrate the good, and be thankful they’re not in high school yet.
I hear those high schoolers can be a real pain…
