I am not the favorite parent. At least not to my oldest. It’s actually pretty hard to compete with my husband. He’s always down for a fun adventure, can make the girls giggle through even the heaviest of tears and whether he admits this or not, loves painting their toenails. I, on the other hand am not quite as fun. Through the everyday duties of motherhood, I struggle with slowing down and finding the adventure, calming the tears and painting the toenails. It’s not because I don’t find the joy in my children but rather because I am in the thick of it all day, every day.
You know what I mean. Regardless of whether you work full time away from home, full time from home, part-time from an office, part-time from home or whatever it is that you do or don’t do, you are ALWAYS a full-time mommy and sometimes that means you get to deal with the unpleasant stuff of parenthood. It means you’re exhausted both physically and mentally all of the time. It means you spend your days and nights breaking up sibling battles. It means dealing with surprise accidents and sicknesses. It means not being the favorite sometimes but I’m here to tell you that’s ok.
IT’S OK!
It actually doesn’t bother me that my daughter prefers my husband. First of all, you’ll never hear me complain about men taking care of their children. My husband is an amazing father and if that means he’s the favorite I’ll gladly take second place. Second of all, I know that this is just a phase. My husband and daughter’s bond is something I don’t ever want to change but I know someday it will. While he may always be the sillier, more logical and more patient one, I will be able to give her something only a mother can offer. I imagine my husband and I we will trade “favorite” status several times throughout the years and we will enjoy being able to step back and or step up to be the parent our girls need.
I recently sent a text to a friend whose kids had been sick for a good week. I told her I was “so sorry” about the sickness that had gone through her house. She replied with, “No big deal. All part of the of the parenting gig.”
She was right. There was no sense in being upset that her house had been plagued with the stomach bug. This was just what you signed up for when you had kids. There is no sense in me feeling inadequate about where I am at with my oldest. I know she loves me and she knows I love her. She still needs me. In fact, it just might be her way of saying she needs me more. In any case, I’m trying to slow down and paint toenails more often. Not to become the favorite but to just be her mom.
THIS IS PARENTING and you will survive.
thanks jena 🙂 This is such a good reminder, always number 2
Jena Pugh you are spot on. No competition between mom and dad. Equally needed and equally loved. Paul is blessed to have you and you are blessed to have him.
Loved this blog. Keeping sending out those “good vibrations”.