As so many of us Jacksonvillians are transplants from other cities and states, it’s safe to assume that a lot of us maintain long-distance relationships with our parents. This makes it hard for our kids to enjoy the special relationship between children and grandparents.
I didn’t grow up anywhere near my grandparents. My grandfather, who was born in 1906, lived through the Titanic sinking and the Stock Market Crash of 1929, but he passed away when I was a teenager living miles away. What I wouldn’t give to chat with him about his youth now!
As an adult, I became conscious of the wealth of memories I had been privy to, but this turned out to be a great lesson to me as a parent.
My parents live where I grew up in East Tennessee and, despite the miles, we have found some great ways for our kids to forge a bond that only grandparents can share with them. Here are some ideas to try (without forcing the dreaded obligatory phone call).
Use Video Chat
With more user-friendly online tools and the advent of Facebook, grandparents have begun to climb aboard the technology train. Video chatting is a great tech tool that’s constantly getting easier to use. While the telephone can make younger kids shy away or lose interest, I’ve found that video chatting is far more engaging for them. FaceTime and Skype are set up and ready within a couple of clicks, and easy for kids and older people to navigate.
The added benefit of video means a kid can show instead of just tell, and talking isn’t required so babies can even join in. My kids love using FaceTime to show my mother-in-law all of their toys, as well as my messy house!
Send a Letter
My kids have begun trading the occasional hand-written letter with their grandmother. My seven-year-old gets to practice handwriting and grins in delight when a return letter arrives. My five-year-old just writes his name and draws a picture of a dinosaur, which is cool with me. This is an easy way for them to connect one-on-one instead of through us parents. Most kids will need encouragement and ideas about what to write, but I let them be creative. Even a quick “I love you Gamma” on a Post-It note, and it goes in the mail.
Once I teach my kids to email, I’m sure that will replace letters. However, our parents grew up in the days of snail mail correspondence and would much rather get a genuine, hand-written letter complete with spelling mistakes and all.
Find Shared Interests
The two generations can share a plethora of common interests ranging throughout sports, cars, history, nature, books, interesting people, music, movies, you name it. My Mom, a long-time doll collector, connects with my daughter on dolls big time. It makes Christmas fun for Mom and they both enjoy talking Barbie and Monster High on the phone.
You can find a middle ground and break the ice for them. For example, if your son takes an interest in fighter planes, have him ask Grandpa about the ones he flew.
Play Games
Use a variety of avenues to play simple games across the miles. Have your kids send Grandma a letter with questions about her childhood (e.g. favorite toy, favorite school subject) and they can trade answers, play a game of 20 Questions with a grandparent via email, a game of charades on video chat, or even an online game of checkers.
My mother-in-law sends hand-drawn pictures for the kids to fill in and color to send back. They have fun doodling and writing little notes on them. Simple and jovial interactions make great memories they will both cherish!
For older kids, social media is a great option. But while I can share photos and stories on Facebook while they’re little, it doesn’t do much to connect the kids with grandparents directly.
We can visit my parents a couple of times each year, but the years slip away fast. And my kids miss their grandparents a lot. These are just simple ways to make connections – and even memories – that will last.
About the Author
Cathy Eng is a writer and mother to daughter Marlee, born in 2007, and son Kingston, born in 2009. A Smoky Mountains native, Cathy earned a journalism degree from the University of Tennessee before migrating south to Jacksonville. After five years in corporate communications, she left the business world to do more important work as a new mom. Cathy later embarked on her freelance writing career and launched a resume writing company Resume Rocketeer. She loves balancing the craziness of motherhood with the fun of freelancing – and helping other moms with everyday ideas and solutions. Her website is cathyengwriter.com.
