It was last spring… we were snacking at a picnic table, shrouded from the afternoon sun by the shade of a large oak tree. Afternoon soccer practice would start soon. Kids were playing on the playground at a distance. His little sister was napping in the car 10 feet away. Other than a few lazy caterpillars, it was just us. That’s when he said it (the thing that gave me the courage to say the word “homeschool”)… Evan said “Mom, I love how peaceful it is right now. I wish it could always be like this.”
It had already been on my mind, for years actually.
During his pre-k years, I thought about how nice it would be to have a more flexible schedule. Taking vacations whenever the time is right… meeting up with dad for lunch… not needing to leave the house at a certain time every day, or not leaving at all. And of course we could learn some awesome things too! Mostly though, the thought of homeschooling was overshadowed by a feeling of wanting to not rock the boat. I mean… what would everyone say? I just couldn’t go there… then.
Fast forward a bit to 3/4th of the way through my son’s kindergarten year. I began to see Evan’s personality and place in the classroom in a whole new way. Though he was always happy to go to school, happy when school was over, learning new things, and making great friends… I started to realize that he was caught in the middle.
My quiet, polite, and kind son didn’t want to rock the boat… just like me. His behavior and learning abilities never warranted any special or extra attention, nor did his personality. By the end of kindergarten, I realized that he would never ask for help from his teacher, even when he needed it. And since so much of a teacher’s time is consumed with attending to a huge variety of behavioral, emotional, and learning needs, Evan would rarely register very high on the need meter.
As the school year came closer to the end, I thought more and more about the option of homeschooling. My mind went back and forth like a ping pong ball. It would mean saying goodbye to a good school, with great friends, and a wonderful community of families… but just think of the incredible things we could learn as a family.
My husband and I talked and talked. He had faith in me and supported me. He allowed me to be excited, feel fearful, and dream extraordinarily optimistic dreams. All the while, I did not discuss these plans with our children or extended family, because I was afraid.
I was afraid, that is, until the day that my son asked for peace and quiet. It was on that day that I found the courage to offer him the option to “do school at home” and he gladly accepted. At that moment, I was ready to deal with the rest of the world.
So here were are… a normal family, with normal kids… rocking the boat… homeschooling!
Our homeschooling journey has just begun. (You can follow our adventures on my blog.) I have big hopes and dreams for our homeschooling experience but will always allow the needs and wishes of my children to guide our educational goals!
Are you a homeschooler? I’d love to hear about how you made your decision to homeschool! Did you know that JMB has a Facebook group for homeschooling families? Come join us!
We put our son in private school for kids with learning disabilities when he was in 7th grade. He did well enough there and was happy. Then we had some financial problems and could not afford his school any more. I signed him up at our local public school for 11th grade. He seemed ok although he was disappointed he couldn’t continue with his friends at the private school. Well, the first day of school he almost had a nervous breakdown. He said he couldn’t go. Kids would bully him. He wouldn’t know any one. He wouldn’t be able to keep up the pace (he was going from class size of 10 to 18). My heart broke. He had trouble in public school before with being bullied and not being able to keep up. And also with just being “lost in the crowd. My husband and I had been concerned with going back to public school but there was no way we could afford tuition fees any more. My son had asked me several times before starting his private school if he could be homeschooled. My husband came downstairs and saw how upset he was and just said to me “what do you want to do?” We talked for about an hour and agreed to homeschool. My husband had always been against it because of the lack of social interaction. I had always feared I wasn’t capable enough to teach him. But at that moment- seeing his anguish- we decided that we had to try.
I have to say there were bumps. We fought about how much work he had to do each day, when we would work lots of things. We eventually worked out a system that worked for us and we ended the year on a positive note. I feel better about this year – his senior year- but there are still ups and downs. I do feel like he has less social contact but he was never the “social butterfly” my other two kids were. He has stayed in contact with several friends and they get together but he’s basically a home body. I think it’s ok and that when he goes to college next year he will be ready for that kind of interaction. He’s a bit behind maturity wise, and that’s ok too. I often feel kids grow up too fast these days. We may not be a “poster family” of the high achieving homeschool family, but he’s doing well and I think that it has turned out to be a good decision for us.
Thank you for sharing your story! You’re a fantastic mother for recognizing and acting on the varied need of your children. I’m sure it was not easy at all to choose homeschooling for your son at such a late point in his education. Great job!