Have you heard that “40 is the new 30” and “30 is the new 20”? I imagine the phrase refers to us moms doing our best to raise happy and responsible children, making our own positive mark on the world and looking fierce doing it (at least on most days). But does “40 is the new 30” suggest that we also act younger than our age? Initially, I thought, “No way,” especially when I reflected back on my 20s and how much I’ve learned since that time. After all, Prince did say, “Act your age… not your shoe size.” Recently, however, I’ve been having second thoughts.
Having hit 40, with two elementary school-aged children, I never imagined I’d still be trying to find my “mom” identity. Motherhood can be a lot like high school with all its labels (instead of the band crew, athletes and scholars, now it’s stay-at-home moms, fit moms, PTA moms, celebrity moms and new moms), each with their own unique brand. This isn’t a bad thing. I own a few mom hashtags myself and wear them like a badge of honor!
I absolutely love motherhood and have embraced the joy, responsibility and challenges that come with it, but after some introspection, I realized that I’ve been subconsciously preoccupied with balancing maturing as a mother, growing in my career, staying youthful and adhering to this unwritten rule of “acting my age.”
It dawned on me recently that we spend most of our lives acting a different age than we are. From dressing up as princesses during toddler years, to sneaking on a little makeup as tweens, to doing everything NOT to be recognized as a young college freshman on campus. Before I knew it, the direction changed. Now I’m towing the line of whether it’s appropriate to wear the latest cutoff jean shorts or asking myself can I pull off a certain hairstyle — with dignity! Act my age? At 40 (or even 50), does it mean that I’m not supposed to laugh out loud, rock a crop top, or do a cheerleader split jump when I’m on a trampoline? I think not.
Regardless of what it means, the decision that I’ve reached is that I won’t act my age. I won’t. I’m blessed to have a strong network of women in my life of all ages, each offering a unique perspective that inspires me. Some bring out my giggles, while others encourage me to take more chances, while a trusted few remind me when to slow down and take a step back. And it’s not always my younger friends who help bring out the best in me. Yes, many of my more seasoned friends in their 50s, 60s and 70s often drop words of wisdom that remind me of what’s important and have a way of carrying themselves with such class and elegance that prompts me to sit up a little straighter and hold my head up a little higher… but they also know how to have a good time!
I’ve realized that it’s not about acting my age at all. In fact, embracing the energy and enthusiasm of my teenage neighbor, the youthful spirit of my girlfriends of all ages and the wisdom of the seasoned sisters in my life — all at the same time — has made me a better person and a better mom.
So I will continue to NOT act my age, and I highly recommend you also giving it a try!
