Raising Rule-Breakers: A Letter to My Kids

rule breakers

“Don’t be afraid to break the rules. Just do it well.”

It’s a simple motto I keep on my computer screen as a reminder that sometimes breaking a few rules is good for the soul. This works well in my everyday life. I decide what rules to break and what rules to follow, but when raising kids, it’s not always that simple. I’ve spent most of my parenting days telling them what to do and when to do it and then punishing them when they step out of line. Now that they’re older, how do I raise kids who aren’t afraid to step outside of the box but not so far outside of the box that they end up in jail?

A Letter To My Kids About Breaking The Rules (Except Those Rules That Send You  To Jail)

Yes, I know. Most of our relationship has been about the rules your father and I have set and our expectations that you follow them. This hasn’t changed. House rules still apply. I’m talking about the times in life when being a bit of a rebel makes more sense in your heart than following the norm. Here are a few times when your father and I say go for it and let your rebellious hearts soar:

Choices

Life is full of choices, and you have so many ahead of you. Some are small and some are large. Some will be popular and some will set you apart which can be scary at an age when all you really want to do is fit in. Many around you will be making choices because they’re easy and won’t rock the boat. Don’t fall into that trap and don’t let others’ opinions influence your choices. Make hard choices and own them, whether others agree with you or not. It’s hard to see it now, but trust me. Every time I’ve made a choice in my life just so I would fit in is a time in my life I regret.

Adults Aren’t Always Right

There. I said it. I’ll even take that a step further. Your father and I aren’t always right. Some days, we knock this whole parenting thing out of the park and others, we suck royally. If something about a situation doesn’t feel right (and this doesn’t apply to being told to clean your room), push back. Respectfully. And I will work hard to stop using the words, “because I said so” or “because I’m the adult.”

Forgive Easy and Often

The world will tell you that people don’t deserve second chances or that they aren’t worth it. The world is wrong. Show love when it’s not shown in return. Offer grace even when it’s the last thing you want to do. Your father and I have always told you to wake up each day and look for opportunities to live an unfair life. This is that statement put into action.

Be Fearless and Pave Your Own Path

Try new things even at the risk of failure. Find passion and something you love and then go for it with everything you’ve got even if everyone around you says you shouldn’t or you can’t. Also, don’t be afraid to set a path and then change course. You’re young and very few decisions in your life at this point are final. Now is the time to explore and try new things. Only you can live your life. No one else. For most of your life, fear has been there to keep you safe and out of harm’s way, but as you get older, fear can begin to cripple you. Fear of what other’s think. Fear of rejection. When life gets a little scary, don’t be afraid to be fearless.

You see, this isn’t about the kinds of rules we’ve given you over the years. Your father and I have done what we can to lay a foundation for you to make your own decisions, with our continued guidance and advice, that define who you are becoming and ultimately who you want to be. You choose now, so don’t be afraid to break the rules. Just be sure to do it well.

Christie Pettus
Christie Pettus is a full time working wife and mother living her suburban cul de sac dream in Orange Park, Fl. She is Mom to two awesome teenagers, McKenzie and Ethan, who have come to accept that certain parts of their lives will be blogged about, so they should act accordingly. As graduates of the University of Florida, she and her husband Ryan can be found rooting on their alma mater every chance they get including the more obscure sports. LaCrosse anyone? When she’s not judging her kids' questionable teenage choices, she can be found hiding in a room buried in a good book or writing, editing, and dreaming about being a full-time author.

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