Pets and the Kiddies: Keeping the Love For Our Family Dog

Our sweet puppy on her first day in our family
Our sweet puppy on her first day in our family.

Before marriage, before kids, my husband and I made the first major commitment of our life together when we brought home our puppy, Annabelle. We were both so in love with that sweet little ball of fur, and like most new pet owners, we went a bit overboard showering her with toys, treats, and attention. She enjoyed days in doggy daycare, long walks, play dates with puppy friends, dining outside with us at restaurants, and sleeping in our bed — our Annabelle was living a pretty sweet life. And then we got pregnant.

Among all of the other things I planned during my pregnancy, I spent many hours researching the best way to smooth the transition of bringing a baby in to a home with pets. I let Annabelle spend time in the nursery while we were preparing it. I had my mom bring home a blanket with the baby’s scent for the dog to smell while we were still in the hospital. I made all kinds of promises to myself that Annabelle would still be a priority, and I wouldn’t be one of those people who neglects their pet after having kids. And then I brought my daughter home.

After a few nights of waking up every two hours to nurse a screaming baby while the dog got in my way or tried to lick me or the screaming baby, Annabelle was relegated to her doggie bed on the floor. All those walks I pictured myself doing with the stroller and dog on the leash were put on hold, because leaving the house became a monumental achievement, and the thought of taking my tiny baby outside in the heat of the summer was too much. The snuggle and scratch sessions my sweet girl and I used to have in the evenings were replaced by pacing the floor while soothing a new baby. Things changed quickly and drastically, and as expected, Annabelle did not appreciate the changes.

Snuggled up shortly before our first child arrived.
Snuggled up shortly before our first child arrived.

Our proud graduate of puppy school, who was potty trained and had excellent doggie manners, was suddenly peeing on the floor, chewing furniture, and becoming a big annoyance in our life. As if my husband and I didn’t have enough things to fight about managing two full-time jobs and baby, the issues with the dog added a lot of stress to an already stressful situation. We came very close to sending her to live with a relative because we just couldn’t deal with her issues, and I felt so guilty that she wasn’t getting the attention she deserved.  But I just couldn’t give her up.

Four years later, I am so thankful that I listened to my heart and that Annabelle is still a part of our family. My kids are now two and four, and they absolutely love their “doggie.” And seriously, kids and dogs playing together might one of the cutest things ever. Cuteness aside, there are so many benefits for children who grow up in a house with pets.

Compassion

Our kid’s interactions with the dog provide lessons in compassion daily. When they pull her ears, use less than gentle hands or try to ride her like a pony, she lets them know that she’s unhappy by growling or going to hide under the bed. As they begin to understand that their actions have consequences, the lesson of treating all creatures with kindness is best taught with a companion that does not hold grudges and always comes back eager to play again.

Teaching gentle hands
Teaching gentle hands

Responsibility

We are working on having our kids take responsibility for helping around the house, and caring for the dog was their first assignment. They love feeding her, and while they often make a mess pouring food in her bowl, it has been a great start to teaching the idea that we all work together as a team to take care of each other.

Helping feed the dog
Helping feed the dog

Comfort

My kids go from being the best of friends to screaming at each other over who likes the color orange better (true story). And my daughter, at age 4, has already entered the slamming her door while shouting “I just want to be alone” phase. Some days there is a lot of drama in our house, and many times, I have found one of the kids curled up with the dog working through whatever they are dealing with. Pets make excellent listeners, and Annabelle is much more sympathetic about the seriousness of the color orange than I am.

And of course, there are more tangible benefits, such as not having to sweep every time my two-year-old drops half of his lunch on the floor. Or when I’m not feeling yet another game of chase me around the couch, the dog is always willing to play.

Batman and his Robin
Batman and his Robin

I loved growing up with pets. I have such fond memories of my cats and dogs from childhood, and now it makes me so happy to watch my kids develop that same kind of relationship with our family dog. Do you have a pet in your house? How do your kids and pets get along?

Jessica Stewart
Jessica is a North Carolina girl, who after living in New York City for eight years, is loving being back in the south since moving to Jacksonville in 2008. She is a stay at home mom to Linda Claire (3) and Liam (2). Prior to filling her days with parks and play doh, Jessica worked in event planning and marketing for financial and media companies, including This Old House. A graduate of UNC Chapel Hill, she is a passionate Tarheel fan, and college basketball season is her favorite time of year. Jessica spends her free time on the tennis court, training for races with her running buddies, or drinking wine her husband, Trevor. Her favorite things include snuggling with her sweet dog at the end of the day, hearing her kids laugh together, and pink cupcakes with sprinkles.

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